After years of reading hundreds of self-improvement books it eventually struck me – what am I actually looking for?

Am I looking for a magic formulae; some potion or spell, a secret plan, maybe some words I havent heard before that will unlock all the mysteries known to man?After years of soul searching and personal investigation it dawned on me – no such potion or plan exists; no magic wand, no pill, no button, no switch, no clapping or group applause and no certificate.

Id read hundreds, possibly even into thousands of books, listened to audios, watched videos and DVDs and tackled every inner state of emotion and illusion Id ever heard of and I thought, ok, so Ive learnt all that, now what?Why am I still unhappy?

Then something clicked.

Enough words now.

Id be better off looking at the spaces between all the words.

Most self-improvement books are superb and really help in unravelling all the delusions we allow ourselves to be conned by. Not every book works for every person, which is why I was pleased to read the advice not to waste effort reading material that isnt working for you.

Everyone is at a different stage of development or unlearning so different books mean different things to different people. Added to that, the real work is done within. Read yes, yet to read without contemplation and thorough investigation simply achieves nothing. If it were as simple as reading a book or two, everyone would be enlightened and the planet would have no problems. As it stands, the vast majority of people still have an ongoing battle with the weather.

Once you have tried all the things that are supposed to make you happy and still found yourself wanting something more you start looking for what the more might be. What is the secret ingredient that seems to be missing?

Whos got it?

How did they get it?

And how can I get it?

Turning circles again, looking for a mystery it.

Perhaps the it is invisible?

No. There is no it.

No wonder I cant find it!

What I realised was the search, although necessary to a degree was also part of the problem; part of the delusion.

You can be so strongly locked into search mode that you keep burrowing yourself deeper instead of breaking free, whilst occasionally, like a mole, popping your head up, briefly seeing the light only to burrow back down again. Its a bit like turning circles making yourself dizzy knowing you can stop and yet still turning anyway. To quit burrowing; to regain the clarity all you need do is stop.

The trouble is everyone and everything including your own inner talk, is telling you to keep on turning.

Instead of turning circles or turning to this or that simply stop.

Realise nothing outside of you can ever make you complete or happier. Only you can stop turning cirlces, stop making yourself dizzy and realise the search is no longer necessary. Until that time, you may need to keep reading self-improvement books; and keep searching, if only to break down each illusion – yet have in the back of your mind that you are not searching for a special something outside of yourself. If you are searching for anything at all, it is realisation. Simply realising on a deep level within you that you do not need anything more to be who you are.

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